The Mind Becomes What You Feed It

We all know that we are what we eat, but did you know that the same principle applies to your mind?

Your mind is shaped and moulded by the inputs and stimuli you provide it with. Feed it junk and it gets fat, angry and lazy. Feed it healthy stuff your mind gets happy and healthier.

But what is junk and what is healthy for the mind?

It’s no secret that we’ve become junk addicts over the past 30 years. You could say that the junk diet for the mind started with two events: the 24-hour news cycle and the advent of social media.

The impact that doom scrolling and social media can have on our mental state is well documented, from creating unnecessary anxiety and stress to forcing us into a confirmation bias loop where we only see news or stories that confirm our existing beliefs.

I myself, have been a victim of doom scrolling. During the first year of the COVID pandemic, I found myself with a lot of time on my hands and not a lot to look forward to.

I turned to my smartphone and tablet as forms of entertainment that could take my mind off of the isolation I was experiencing.

But as you can imagine, the toxicity of politics, BLM, Stop Asian Hate, lockdowns, and ever-present COVID fear naturally turned my mind into a steaming hot turd.

I became obsessed with turning to my phone to feed my mind with junk, just like a chain smoker turns to a cigarette each time he puts one out.

My mental health began to suffer greatly. On top of it, I started beefs with a few of my friends and found myself strobing about them incessantly.

I’d think about them first thing in the morning.

Then, when I was brushing my teeth, when I was working, a hundred times through the day and finally when I was headed for bed.

For months I would feel sick about the situation but somehow believed that there was no way I would back down or concede that I had done anything wrong.

And each time I reminded myself of them, I felt nauseous. I was spiralling down like a jet on fire after getting blasted apart by bullets and shrapnel.

Then an awful thing happened one morning when I woke up.

As I lay in bed, my wife said the most random, innocuous thing to me from our bedroom ensuite while she was happily putting on her makeup… and I snapped.

I started screaming and yelling. I physically lunged at her as she ran to the toilet to barricade herself in.

My rage was explosive. No matter what I did in the next few minutes it felt as though a volcano was mustering up in my chest and it was about to erupt.

My daughter ran into the bedroom as all of this happened. She was terrified and instinctually ran to her mother’s aide.

I made sounds that were otherworldly. I screamed at the top of my lungs without gaining any satisfaction from it. I cried uncontrollably. I sobbed.

It felt like there was no logic in the world. I had snapped my lid.

Not knowing what to do I screamed out the only sane thought I could muster to my daughter and wife, “Call an ambulance!”

I ran downstairs in an attempt to remove myself from the girls.

The only place that seemed safe was when I curled myself up in a ball weeping and convulsing on the floor of the laundry room with the door shut tight.

The police arrived first. By then I had somehow moved myself to the living room couch where I pushed my face deep into the cushioned leather.

I sobbed uncontrollably without any end in sight. I. just. couldn’t. stop. crying.

One officer demanded that I stop crying at once and face him. He was terse and unkind. His presence made me angrier. I felt like any chance for a future was gone if that man had pushed any further.

And then, thankfully, the paramedics came.

Upon arriving at the hospital I was admitted under watch. I fell asleep from exhaustion.

A few hours later a doctor arrived in the room and asked me a few questions. Then, within minutes, she abruptly told me to get my things.

She was discharging me. I had no idea why.

I finally got help a few days later when I booked an appointment with my psychologist.

I tearfully explained to her what had happened. She listened with understanding and compassion.

I needed that.

At the end of the session, she assured me that I had probably experienced a post-traumatic incident.

It may have been triggered by an event in my past. I believed her.

But I also believed I had brought it on myself by poisoning my mind.

This wasn’t the end of my troubles but it was the beginning of figuring things out. Unfortunately, I had another incident a number of months later. I snapped again. This time I tried to hurt myself. It was a cry for help.

After spending a day in the emergency ward and talking to nurses, doctors, and a psychologist I felt well enough to go home.

Well enough, that is, to attempt to go home.

Upon arriving home things were uncomfortable and unsupportive.

My wife having no understanding of what I was experiencing asked me to leave the house for a while to go stay with a friend. Which I did.

During the next few days, I knew a shift in mindset had to happen. I turned to Buddhism.

I had always been interested in Buddhism. From what I knew about it, it felt like a gentle faith that came with life lessons as an added bonus.

My grandfather was Buddhist.

I had tried meditation in the past and found it helpful and fascinating. So I began to search for Buddhism videos on YouTube.

I found dozens and dozen of videos about a variety of topics. With each video, I learned more and more about the concept of suffering.

I soon realized that my personal brand of suffering was caused by what Buddhism called “defilements”.

Defilements refer to negative mental states or habits that obstruct or cloud the mind.

These defilements can prevent individuals from experiencing true happiness and fulfillment.

Buddhism states that there are three defilements. They are greed, hatred, and delusions.

I had an a-ha moment: I had been defiling my own happiness.

Greed, also known as craving, is the desire for material possessions or sensory pleasure. It can drive people to seek out these things at the expense of their own well-being and the well-being of others.

For example, a person may become so fixated on acquiring wealth that they become dishonest or ruthless in their pursuit, causing harm to themselves and those around them.

Hatred, or aversion, is the feeling of anger or animosity towards someone or something. It can lead individuals to engage in harmful behaviour towards themselves or others.

For example, a person who harbours feelings of hatred towards a coworker may become confrontational or engage in gossip, ultimately causing harm to their own reputation and relationships.

Delusions, or not understanding the true nature of reality, can lead people to make misguided decisions.

For example, a person who is deluded about the long-term consequences of their actions may make choices that bring short-term pleasure but ultimately lead to suffering.

In Buddhism, it is believed that these defilements can be overcome through mindfulness and the cultivation of positive mental states such as compassion and wisdom. By practicing mindfulness, I could become more aware of my own thoughts and actions, allowing me to recognize and overcome negative habits and patterns.

Through cultivating positive mental states, I could learn to live in a more mindful and compassionate way, ultimately leading to true happiness and fulfillment. By recognizing and overcoming these defilements, I could cultivate compassion and wisdom and live in a more mindful and fulfilling way.

With this realization, I decided that I had a lot of work to do. I would focus my mind on positive, uplifting activities like meditation, self-actualization and mindfulness.

My goal was to actively help to improve my well-being, happiness and mental clarity. Over the following months, my mind became happier and more peaceful.

I chose to travel to Thailand to ordain as a monk. I learned profound lessons about happiness, equanimity and meditation.

I have witnessed firsthand how two dramatically different mind diets could affect my overall well-being and health.

It’s become clear to me that the mind is malleable and can be shaped by what it consumes. When a person feeds their mind with doom scrolling, social media and confirmation bias, they can create a distorted and damaging mental landscape.

On the other hand, when you feed your mind with meditation, self-actualization and mindfulness, you can cultivate a healthy mindset that allows you to self-reflect and evaluate situations with clarity and compassion.

The key is to feed your mind with thoughtful, helpful and positive content that will ultimately lead to a greater sense of self-worth and positivity.

So, be honest - what diet do you have your mind on?